I’ve been in such a weird mood lately. Feeling almost in a way very lost, and unsure of myself. Even with the encouragement and fellowship of friends who are overseas or friends who are present with me, my heart has still been feeling restless.
Before I began this journey last May, I was so excited and ecstatic to be traveling. All I could think about was the adventure that lied ahead of me. A year abroad never sounded intimidating to me, it sounded like a fun challenge!
And now, 7 months later I’m realizing traveling to and fro isn’t always as beautiful as it sounds. Perhaps these realizations are dawning on me now, because I’m in a transition between two chapters of my life. Suspended between processing my study abroad program in Senegal and preparing myself for a new program in northeast Thailand. I don’t think I’ll truly have time to process things until I am back home, remaining in one place.
Ever since a good friend once shared with me Ezekiel 16, I’ve always loved the passage. It talks about God’s redemption of his people in Jerusalem as an adulterous wife and how he has declared her as his own.
Feelings of solitude are hitting me. Of feeling as if I don’t belong anywhere. Not being settled in one place is unsettling. But God whispered something to me today that made me catch my breath. ‘Rachel, you are Mine.’ I realized it doesn’t matter if I don’t feel like I belong anywhere right now: I belong to God. He has claimed me as ‘mine’ even though I sometimes feel as if I’m in a state of wandering. Wherever I go, He will be there also. I can travel to the ends of the earth, but I’m not alone in this journey. I was so comforted by this realization.
So I pray this as an encouragement to you all. That whatever struggle you may be currently facing, or when you feel lost, frustrated, broken, or exhausted – even if you are remaining in one part of the world – God is always there. He hears your heart. Know that “there is no pit too deep that He is not deeper still.” Know that he has claimed you as His.